It had been a very long time since I cleaned this blog. This period had been very toughed. Stress load from school is heavy because for a fact, I am taking double degree. Most importantly, I was completely outcasted by the girl I loved most. I need to confess on alot of things over here. It seems that only this place, I could say everything. After she had told me to stop all these, I had actually make a very rashed decision. I accepted another person, christal. but I found myself comparing her to ah girl. I know it's unfair to her and I did exactly what my buddy had done before. It's equal to toying her feeling. But as for now, I told her that I am toying her. I had thought it through. I cant forget ah girl at all. I went to drink, went bonkers, i had even made chris worried. She said all she heard is how much I loved and missed ah girl. No doubt, I can even see disappointment in chris' eyes. Have known her since I got in SMU. I am thankful I know her but I am sorry to say, I really cant replace ah girl easily in my heart. chris even said she can wait for time to come. I seriously dont know how long I would take. For the time being, maybe it's impossible. chris had called QF in which had alerted that bitch. that bitch scolded ah girl and ah girl was very pissed off. In the end, it made our relationship worse. I am so lost. I even missed a day of lesson to go away. I went to spurlge on drinks. Drinks and drinks. It's been so long, why is it my distance and ah girl are getting so wide? This is the last time ok? I promise to change... Please give me the last chance... I promise, I will try to let go... Because I just want you to be my very best friend at least... Let me take care of you as a friend... At least... I love you... As for Chris, if affinity allows, we will still be together... Thank you for those days and I am sorry for the nonsense and comparisons.

Exams ended... I felt more relaxed but I am worried for her... Stomach flu and yet she refused to pick up my calls nor reply my sms... What is happening to us? Are you angry with me for saying all these to you? Why? If you want, I could have a fair competition with him... I will do whatever I can to gain your heart... I am willing to do so... Please dont torture me by ignoring me. If you can give him a chance to be with you, why not me? I know what to do... I know what is meant to be mine, it will be mine... I just dont know the reason why you dont accept me... I had been waiting all along... Dont you feel a thing at all?

Do you still remember this? "我爱你一千倍，一万倍。不管风吹雨大，我都会永远爱护你，守护你。请不要忘记我对你的爱。我是真心付出所有的爱" I am not giving up this thought. I am still holding to it. Till now, I still never give up. You said we can be best friends but all I want is you only. We had been through many obstacles all these years and yet your final decision is still someone else... Will you ever come to me?

She messaged me just now and I was sad... She asked why I was so emo. I began to worry for her. I did this blogskin for few days, today finally uploaded. Looking at the time now, 2pm in the afternoon of the week, thursday. Time flies. I am having my exams now. Feel the stressed of taking double degree... I miss her badly... If only she is mine...

It is time to clean up cobwebs here. I realised I am lazy to blog rather than having no time. I am getting used in studying there already. Felt very useless and lost. As we grew up, I felt the distance between me and her is wider. We are not together. She just ended her previous relationship like 1+ month ago and yet, now, I see her accepting another guy whom she had been waiting / wanting. My heart breaks totally. I am aware that she is living with happiness. At last, I feel that she met her right one now... I just hope that they will last... What am I thinking? I want her so much and yet I am giving her my blessings. I really think that he is a much better guy than her previous boyfriend who is simply a bastard... I shall be kind... Shall not probe any further... I am missing her... Now, I can't even sleep...

yesterday i called her. she didnt speak much. she only listen to me talking. haiz. what is happening to her? she cried. she didnt want to say anything. just now, i talked to her again. she didnt say anything again. haiz.

Surprised yeah? I finally update my blog and I will be studying at SMU (Singapore Management University). I applied for it actually but I defer it to this year. Taking double degree which is law and social science. Enough of playing. Ought to be serious.

I am trying really hard to retrieve all my past blog posts. Bear with me guys! And, I am finally a undergraduate. It is like, finally, I decided to continue my studies.

The 3 main leads nearly killed me just now. The 3 main leads were Mr Eng Zi Jian Dave, Miss Lim Shi Jia Ivy and Miss Voon Le Si Angeline. I had came up with a plot and acted it on. The most guillible who was Mr Rong Zi Jian, arrived at 1100. The second one was Ms Lin Shi Jia. The one whom is the cleverest of all, difficult to be tricked on, was Ms WEN LE SI. All of them were shocked, and Ms ANGELINE VOON had the biggest reaction. When she knew she was being tricked, she immediately chased after me and kicked me on my butt. Then she was so embarrassed and her face was so red. Haha. And she cried when I sang "zhi dui ni shuo". I thought she was touched by me. She said, she was touched that andreances never failed to be there for her birthday celebrations.

I gave a loud, "HUH?!" Then she hit me very hard a few times. I keep on bullying her, tell her, "can you be more gentle ma? Always hit people. Then always so playful and naughty..." After that, she said, "Can you be more quiet ma? Always so noisy. Then always hit me on my head. No wonder I becoming more and more stupid lah" Haha... Afterall, she is still so cute lor... Always copy my lines then always kick my butt.But at least, she don't act gentle infront of people.. Not like some girls... They are sometimes so fake lor. Feel she's different... She is really nice lor... Then always so thoughtful, caring to her friends... So we love her alot. =) And this kind of girl difficult to find liao. She really thought I quarrel with my parents. Then say alot of theories to me again. Ask me to understand and put myself in my parents' shoes too. Realise she had grown matured alot compared to the past. She is always sensible and filial to her parents... Her mum will always say she is very sensible... Indeed lah... What I love about her too is that she is mature...
Too mature for a girl of this age... But it is a good thing too lah... After that, we went off to Esplanade to chill out abit... She was sitting at the side thinking about something... Then I went to ask her some things lor... They teased us... Ask me don't purposely go and make her confused... Say she is attached and they are very loving... At that moment, I am abit sad... Because I still can't win her heart... Ask her alot of questions... ASk her if she is feeling happy with him...We went to cineleisure to sing kbox. She sang really well... Really well... I secretly record it... Keep on listening to it...
Then she left because she said her gastric isn't feeling well... Haiz... So worried about her... Wanted to bring her see the doctor but she don't want... Bought her some hot cappucino and some food... When she feels better, brought her home... Haiz... Had a sudden urge to give her a peck on her cheek leh... But don't dare... Because she surely will be mad at me after that... Help her bring the presents up and went back... Continue to sing then they start asking me questions when we chilled out at mac... Haiz... Feel abit sad... Don't know why... Just love her...

Bad news and good news for Andreances... Ivy met a serious accident... And the good news is, she is out of danger... Just received this news and I am relieved to hear that...Ivy and QF quarreled over girl yesterday... QF called me and I asked him a question, "You still like Angeline?" Guess what he answered? He said, "Yeah...Even though she's attached." I was abit sad upon hearing these...

I thought in Andreances, only Marc and me haven't give up. How many guys in Andreances like her le... I think more than half lor...Regret abit for introducing her to them leh... Kidding lah... Back to this... Then after that, I received the bad news... Everyone wasn't in good mood lor... I think they lied to girl, Ivy is out of danger... Then I didn't know that mah, went to ask girl how in the afternoon... Girl never reply my messages until she got fed up with my massive bombarding, I think. I realize she is at kbox with friends. Got ticked off by them for telling girl... But too late liao... Girl also refused to pick up our calls...Asked girl if she wants to come out at 11 plus, she said ok...

Went to pick her up, realize her eyes swollen and red. Heartache again... Drove her to Yuhua Village... She threatened me sia. We bought some alcohol mah. Refuse to let her buy, but she say if I don't, she still have her ways. I surrender lor. Then we went to her boy's neighbourhood... At first she didn't want to say anything...Used the pinkish pig plush to make her happy... After that she laugh... Silly girl... Then I gave it to her...Haha...She looked at the pig, tell me lot of things after I so called persuade her with the pig...She told me she heartlessly abandoned someone few hours back at the bus stop... Then she began to cry a little... After that, she told me, she really don't wish to do this to the person, so she said she secretly went back... But she said, the person went off... Guess that person she mentioned is her boy... Then, she said she nearly cause her boy to met an accident... She keep on crying non-stop... Say she really don't wish to care about anything...Really wish to leave this world... Then I was shocked because leaving this world means suicidal leh... After that, she said, she wish only lah...

Haha... Silly girl...Continue her talk, she told me she feels really down... I was aware about almost all her problems lah... But she said, no one other than me really cares... Then she said she feels vexed as she has got so many things to solved but yet she can't solve hers... Told me lot especially her recent stuff... Heartache then she also make me cry... After that, received call from QF, he said Ivy really out of danger... She accidentally hit her head against some hard objects I think...She said very pain... Haha... Silly girl lah... Happy until like that...Her gastric pain, bought her some medicines...Haiz... Tell her don't drink, don't listen... I asked her a question... "will you choose him or me, at this moment?" she answered, "you knew the answer... you knew we can only be buddies..."

Wanted to say something to her boy... You know she cares for you lot? You care for her ma? Why did you make her cry when she's already so upset? Why would she have a sudden thought in giving up? I wanted to know too...You didn't even take care of her when she's sick and she nearly met an accident too on someday because she was feeling nauseous... When her gastric is in pain, did you really care about her? What I know is,she is always blaming herself for not being able to take care of you... I wanted fair competition with you... If you really love her, cherish her and be sensitive to her feelings... She needs lot of encouragements... If you don't or think you can't accept her everything, then let her go...

She took lot of courage to trust you, come with you, hold on to you till now. Despite of phobias in relationships, she trust guys once more...Make her feel loved and pampered... Give her surprises... I can only say that... Because I can only do these as a friend... You are different...You are her boyfriend... Be patient with her, my words to you . She rejected me because of you even yesterday.Girl, know you definitely will blame me for all these... But I did it for your own good... I don't think he understand you...Even if he tries, he is trying the wrong way...To girl, my words are just sweet nothings... But it comes from my heart... I love you girl...

I decided to let him know something... Let him know more about her... Haiz... She was stressed up with her IMF. She quit... She missed him alot. I saw the messages for him... Are you really going to get married to him someday? Her birthday is coming soon... Around 29 days... But saw his testimonial for her... She would be in overseas next month? Why should I let my rival know it? I don't know. Maybe I just want him to take care of her.

If he can give you happiness, I am fine with that... I won't say anything... If not, I will snatch you away from him... I know you are still angry over the sms-es, that's why you didn't want to pick up my calls and return my messages... I saw you two at Suntec today... Guess you didn't notice me... I still love you as much as i do in the past... I surrender it to you since few years back... Don't ever ask me to give up... You know I will never...I added him in the friend list. I wrote long messages to him... She loves him so much... Her love for him is so deep. But him? I don't know. I just hope he is true to her. We've quarrelled so many times because of him... Is it worth? Saw them so close together, I feel jealous... What makes her accept him? I don't know. I only know she really loves him deeply.

I am not trying to hurt him or what... But just want to be clear and frank to him... I just want him to take care of you... Can't I even do this? I am not hating any of you... Because it is your decision... If he can give you happiness, I don't mind being defeated by him... If not, I believe I still stand a chance... I will not give up... I repeated this umpteen times... My love for you, I can say, is much more deeper than his to yours...

She has fallen sick... But she was sad... She told me she feels that her colleagues cares for her more than him... I know Juliana is trying to help... But girl doesn't feel for me... I really wanted to know who he is... Why are we having arguments because of him? Why are you so protective over him? Is he worth you doing all those? Will he appreciate it?

Haiz... Heartbroken... Glad she has accepted a new relationship... I wanted to know who's that guy who managed to open up her heart, make her trust him. I didnt have the ability and I feel so useless. When i know she's in a relationship with him, I was totally upset. I can see that she cares alot for him...

She refused to tell me who he is... She only told me she enjoys being with him despite they are still friends... Saw her blog... She seems to be very sad... She said it's impossible between them... Who? I know I should give up... She said she feels so sweet to be with him... Haiz...

She went to cut her hair, become more and more cute... And she told me... She sort of like someone else... But not that Leonard... Haiz... Who?

QF likes her long ago... Haiz... They quarrelled. Why so many guys like her?

She got her first choice! Culinary and Catering Management in TP! She was really happy with it... If she don't get into TP is fake de lo. Half of her choice she put TP's course. She going to study again soon le. Her spine got abit problem acting up. Poor girl. She's back to night shift. Haiz. Got one guy call Leonard likes her despite having a stead. What ever. She don't like him can liao.